"What strength the mantelpiece that holds zombies, spacemen, lovers and murderers!"*
A Guide to Mantelpiece Cinema Etiquette:
1. There is a suggested entry fee donation of £1 to the Bulb Fund. This is highly optional and McHale's-goers won't be asked in person, but the jar will be left imposingly on the cheese table for contributions.The bulb fund covers:
- Eventual replacement of damnably expensive projector bulb
- General maintenance & raw power
- Acquisition of obscure titles
- Payoffs to the BBFC
- Alimony to Mrs McHale
2. It is considered gauche to ask for the things of the mantelpiece to be moved unless they are obscuring the subtitles.
3. Programme requests, suggestions & packages are encouraged. If you would like to 'put a night on', please discuss with the management. Show & Tell and live testimony form a vital part of the McHale's ritual.
4. It's a big cheese table and it isn't going to fill itself.
The OMMC relaunches in August 2011 thanks to a massive investment in crude light by the mis-managing partners, Mr. Cole & Prof. Latham. If you would like to offer your film for exhibition, please contact Mr Cole via this blog.
A mention should be made of Jonathan X. Tipler who co-founded the original McHale's but absconded to Europe following a complete technical meltdown. Several cheeses that went missing from the McHale's kitchens at around this time have yet to be accounted for.
Your discretion in all matters is appreciated.
*Please do not climb on the mantelpiece.